[ISN] Virus Responsible for Gates Security Memo

From: InfoSec News (isnat_private)
Date: Wed Feb 20 2002 - 00:10:47 PST

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    Forwarded from: R. A. Hettinga <rahat_private>
    Thursday January 17 10:53 PM EST
    Virus Responsible for Gates Security Memo
    By Brian Briggs
    Redmond, WA - An embarrassed Bill Gates admitted today that a memo
    outlining Microsoft's new focus on security called Trustworthy
    Computing was sent out in error when an idealistic intern sent him the
    fanciful, pie in the sky report in a virus infected e-mail.
    "I forgot to patch my Outlook Express and it went out to my entire
    address book," said Gates. "You would think that if anything were to
    get us to focus on security in our software that it would be a gaffe
    like this. To ensure security in all our software, however, would mean
    dropping half of our product lines and I have a fiscal responsibility
    to shareholders."
    Gates added, "Don't we run drug tests on interns?"
    The memo was apparently drafted by college intern Glenn Hardcastle in
    case Microsoft ever did decide to make security a priority. "They told
    me it was busy work. That it would never happen," said Glen, "When I
    saw it on the net the next day I didn't even bother going into work. I
    knew my ass was grass for the big Gates-mower."
    Many consumers were also relieved to hear that Microsoft's priorities
    had not changed. "I was a little worried when I heard that security
    would be a priority over new features. I was really excited when I
    heard that in the next version of Windows I'll be able to transfer
    money between my bank accounts with a simple click from any computer
    connected to the Internet. I thought for sure that feature would be
    scrapped in favor of 'security'," said Jack Yager.
    "I checked my calendar to make sure it wasn't April 1st when the
    e-mail dropped into my inbox," said AP tech reporter Donna Whitlock.
    "I mean come on, Microsoft and trustworthy go together about as well
    as Exxon and sea otters. I'm glad to see it was all a big mistake."
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    R. A. Hettinga <mailto: rahat_private>
    The Internet Bearer Underwriting Corporation <http://www.ibuc.com/>
    44 Farquhar Street, Boston, MA 02131 USA
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