[ISN] Hackers beg boring people to stop encrypting email

From: InfoSec News (isnat_private)
Date: Sun Aug 25 2002 - 23:24:42 PDT

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    Forwarded from: John <johnat_private>
    San Jose, Calif. (SatireWire.com) - In an unusual worldwide appeal,
    the International Brotherhood of Computer Hackers today asked
    particularly boring people to please stop encrypting their emails.
    According to IBCH President Björn Haxor, hackers spend thousands of
    hours intercepting and cracking open encrypted emails - believing it
    to be "the good stuff" - only to find most contain little more than
    "Two priests walk into a bar," or "Hi Bob, here's my new email
    "Maybe you think hacking coded messages is simple, but it's not -
    well, except for the Microsoft Outlook ones," said Haxor. "The rest of
    it is a pain in the backdoor. So here's a tip: if you encrypt just
    because you want to keep your personal information 'secret,' but all
    you're encrypting is blather about your stupid promotion or a recipe
    for fruit salad, guess what? Your secret's already out. You're dull."
    "Please, keep it to yourself and stop wasting our time," he added.
    Instead, Haxor said, people should only encrypt if they are going to
    send information such as passwords, credit card numbers, blueprints
    for an unreleased product, or confidential sales figures. Barring
    that, he advised, "at least give us something revealing, like you
    slept with your boss's wife, or his Airedale."
    In fact, some frustrated hackers have begun to fight back against what
    they call "rampant, reckless encryption."
    "I had one guy at Oracle who encrypted everything, and 80 percent of
    his emails were gripes about his department head," said IBCH member
    BlackDogg77. "I got so fed up, I bounced all the emails back to the
    guy's boss and got him fired. I mean, why should I put up with that
    "Or Al Gore," Haxor added. "The other day I'm monitoring some
    government servers, and I see all these encrypted emails from Gore.  
    Hey Al, news alert: You're Al Gore. No one cares anymore. Give it up."
    Surprisingly, computer security experts agree. "I get this all the
    time: 'Should I encrypt? I don't want anyone to steal my identity,'"  
    said LockUpOnline President Bing D'aahl. "The textbook answer has been
    'Yes,' but now we are advising people to first ask themselves, 'Do I
    have an identity that anyone would really want to steal?'"
    If you answer truthfully, D'aahl said, chances are you'll forego the
    digital ID and save everyone a lot of trouble.
    "Remember, the Internet wasn't built just for you," Haxor added.
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