FC: Congress acts swiftly -- to protect animal privacy! (satire)

From: Declan McCullagh (declanat_private)
Date: Mon May 13 2002 - 20:12:57 PDT

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    [There is no Rep. Harold Wolfe -- Democrat, Californian or other -- in the 
    U.S. House. Aside from that, it's an entertaining satire. Previous Politech 
    message: http://www.politechbot.com/p-03497.html --Declan]
    
    ---
    
    From: "japgray" <japgrayat_private>
    To: "Declan McCullagh" <declanat_private>
    Subject: Congress Acts to Protect Animal Privacy
    Date: Sun, 12 May 2002 08:03:43 -0400
    
    
                          Congress Acts to Protect Animal Privacy
    
    By Peter Gray
    Washingtonword
    
    Washington, May 13, 2002 Reacting to concerns that animals in captivity do 
    not have a legal right to privacy, Rep. Harold Wolfe (D-CA) today 
    introduced the Animal Privacy Entitlement (APE) Act of 2002. The 
    legislation would provide animals in zoos, circuses and theme parks with 
    new privacy protections.
    
    In a statement, Congressman Wolfe said, Over 50 bills have been introduced 
    in the 107th Congress to protect human privacy, but none to protect animal 
    privacy. This is unfair, undemocratic, and discriminatory. My bill would 
    extend to animals basic fair information practices that limit the 
    collection, disclosure and uses of health and other personal data on 
    animals. I expect many animal lovers and privacy advocates in Congress will 
    co-sponsor my bill.
    
    Among the most controversial provisions of the APE Act, video surveillance 
    of the dating, mating and other personal activities of captive animals 
    would be prohibited. The Act also allows class-action lawsuits to be 
    brought on behalf of captive animals against zoos and other public animal 
    habitats that violate, or permit the public to violate, animal privacy.
    
    Animal rights activists, privacy advocates, and trial lawyers joined forces 
    to support the legislation. Speaking on behalf of the group, Polly Finch, 
    Executive Director of The Center for Animal Democracy, said that the bill 
    represents an important step forward to ensure privacy parity for animals. 
    Since  an animal is not capable of  bringing a private right of action 
    against an abuser of its privacy, legal representatives of animals should 
    be permitted to file class-actions on their behalf , she added.
    
    On May 6, 2002, the Washington Post reported that the National Zoo refused 
    to release a deceased giraffe s medical records on grounds that it would 
    violate the animal s right to privacy. However, courts have ruled that 
    animals do not have a legal right to privacy. The APE Act would remedy this 
    legal deficiency.
    
    
    
    
    Declan, your Politech subscribers will recognize that humor sometimes 
    becomes reality. Peter  
    
    
    
    
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