[ISN] Santa Considering Move to Linux

From: InfoSec News (isnat_private)
Date: Wed Dec 25 2002 - 03:01:46 PST

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    Santa Considering Move to Linux
    Icy Negotiations May Lead to Penguins Inhabiting North Pole
    By Brian Briggs
    December 16, 2002
    North Pole - Citing concerns about security and licensing costs, Santa
    Claus is considering migrating his computer systems from Microsoft
    Windows to Linux.
    With several thousand computers and the largest database in the world,
    Santa's Workshop is one of the largest and most important clients for
    Microsoft. It is expected that the software maker will do whatever it
    takes to keep Claus in their corner.
    "If some naughty kid was able to break into my systems and change his
    status to nice then the whole integrity of the Claus empire would be
    called into question," said Kringle. "I also have to watch out for the
    Easter Bunny. He's always trying to muscle in on my territory. If he
    were able to compromise my database and get access to my client list,
    then we might be celebrating Christmas in April."
    "IIS couldn't keep up when Slashdot posted a link to that
    web-interface I made for turning Rudolph's new LED nose on and off.
    That was the last straw," Claus continued. "I'm entrusting the entire
    holiday of Christmas to a company that can't even make a reliable web
    Microsoft feels that the issue isn't security but the new licensing
    agreement currently being negotiated with the North Pole giant. "You
    think he's all 'Ho ho ho' but Santa is one tough negotiator," said the
    Microsoft sales representative responsible for the North Pole region.
    "Behind that beard is a shrewd operator. He's managed to stay in
    business for centuries while giving his product away for free. Even
    the best Internet entrepreneurs couldn't sustain that business model."
    Santa has more leverage than most of Microsoft's customers said one
    analyst. "He's made some veiled threats about Xboxes falling off the
    sleigh while he's flying over the Atlantic. I also heard he threatened
    to move Gates and Ballmer to the Naughty List."
    Santa dismisses Microsoft's claims that his threats to move to Linux
    are nothing more than a negotiation tactic. "I agree with the
    philosophy of the Linux community. I give all these toys and goodies
    away for free, I think that the software I choose should be supporting
    those sort of ideals too."
    Linux would be a good fit for Santa on both the server and the client
    side. "Linux has strong server choices and as far as the workstations
    the elves don't use them for anything other than to listen to
    Christmas carols and to open up the occasional Christmas list that
    some geek sends to us on CD.
    Sources say that Red Hat Linux remains the front runner if Santa does
    decide to switch.
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